Do you ever have days (or weeks!) when you feel like you are nothing but a big, fat failure? You look at other women and they seem so perfectly polished. But not you.
You long for approval and belonging, but all you can think about is that you’re just not enough. The voices in your head bully with you until the truth feels precariously about to fall off into the deep blackness. And often the loudest voice bullying you is your own.
I’ve been there. In fact, I’m having this struggle in the current season of my life. And it IS a struggle.
But I’d like to share with you something the Lord has helped me see. I’m writing this for myself, but I also want to help you see, too, why you need positive self-talk, especially for that little girl deep within you.
One time as I was praying, I saw a scene begin to play in my mind. A little girl was running down a hill towards a field full of bright yellow flowers. The field expanded as far as the eye could see, and the little flowers, too numerous to count, were blowing in the gentle breeze.
The little girl was smiling from ear to ear and bouncing with anticipation as she skipped her way down the slope. Then suddenly, she glanced over and caught my eye. She stopped right in her tracks.
The smile left her face and she stood frozen, staring at me in surprise. It was then that I realized the little girl was me.
I heard a voice say,
“What would you like to say to her?”
Memories flooded back of my life-long battle with low self-esteem. I thought of all the voices to which I had listened. The lies I had believed. The pain and suffering I had experienced because of my choices to partner with those lies.
I was so very thankful for all the healing that the Lord had given me. He had helped me to see that His field of grace was wide open for me to receive and explore. I no longer had to strive for approval or to worry that I wasn’t enough.
He gave me permission to be myself. To see myself as He sees me, with love and acceptance and forgiveness – all because of Jesus.
As my focus came back to the little girl standing there, I wondered. If I really had the opportunity to talk to my younger self to actually speak life to her, what would I say?
I began shouting to the little girl. Shouting at the top of my lungs to me as that child:
“It’s okay to be you! It’s more than okay! Feel free to run and jump and yell to the top of your lungs. And dance and sing and spin.
Please spin in your pretty new dress, and don’t worry about dirt or stains if you fall. You’re beautiful!
Don’t worry what others think! Your Father loves you and is delighted in you! He’s given you this wide open space just for you to be free.
Free to be. Free to be you. Free to be His.”
The little girl broke out in the biggest grin ever and took off skipping towards the field, as happy as she had been before.
Oh my, how that scene truly touched my heart.
But as months have gone by, I’ve found myself in a funk. I’ve wrestled with depression and anxiety and not much true joy.
Some of the old voices have come back. The ones that always question who I am and what I’m worth.
Those voices have a way of wrapping around me so subtly that it’s actually easy to not even realize they are actually lying to me.
How could this be so?
Because my enemy, the great liar, is a crafty, underhanded thief who wants nothing more than to steal my identity, the very image of God Himself, created in me.
God has so generously offered me a life of hope, courage, and confidence. But the enemy is always ready to counteract. For me, it’s always an attempt to draw me back into fear, discouragement, and turning inward in despair.
Sadly, far too often, all I need is to hear one little hint of negativity about myself. And then I take off in all kinds of convoluted directions, with my thoughts and emotions following in a swirl.
But God!!! How thankful I am that He comes to my rescue!
The same verse that tells us the enemy wants to steal from us? It also tells us what God wants to give us today (not just in eternity):
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV
So today as I was praying, I remembered the scene of me as the little girl running down the hill. I began to wonder why the little girl had stopped when she saw me. Why did she not keep going? Why did the fact that I was standing there, watching her, make a difference?
It was then I heard the Holy Spirit whisper,
“That little girl is always waiting to hear what you have to say to her. Your voice matters.”
I began to understand as He kept whispering:
Your spirit is that little girl, anxious to run free in the field of grace and joy. You must continue giving her permission to keep going – to sing and run and laugh and do amazing things she didn’t even think she was capable of doing.
Jesus is waiting for her there in that field!”
What a wonderful invitation! To be given permission to have joy as a little child, free to be myself and free to live in grace with Jesus.
And what a sobering reminder that I must keep speaking His words of life to that child in me. I think He’s saying the same thing to you.
My hope is that you can see a little better why you need positive self-talk as a Christian woman. It’s so much more than a solution from pop psychology for all your inner struggles.
It is a battle cry to keep you moving forward in the Kingdom. It’s refusing to give in to the negative that draws us inward and downward, and instead, we make the choice to live in hope, courage, and confidence because of our King – the King who is longing to enjoy life with us as His much-loved children.
And He’s waiting to help us do amazing things we didn’t even know we were capable of doing! (Phil. 4:13)
If you resonate with this struggle, I encourage you to listen to this song by Rita Springer called “I Have to Believe”. No, wait – don’t just listen. Sing it with her as a declaration.
As Hope Dwellers, let’s make that choice to believe everything God has to say about Himself and all He has to say about us.
Here’s a good prayer for us:
May the words of our mouths and the meditation of our hearts (even about ourselves) be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer. Psalm 19:14 ESV
And a blessing:
Continuing to learn positive self-talk with you,
In the comments below, please share one thing you would like to tell the little girl in you. Let’s be as kind to ourselves as God is to us!
»»»If you really have a struggle with negative self-talk and depressing thoughts, you might want to read these 2 posts:
Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.